Tshyroid

Well, folkshs. In addition to having the world'sth largest underbite and fighting hard for the position of world'sth ugliest dog, momsth and popsth spend $462 to discover that I have thyroidsths issue and put me on 5 different pills. They also have to serve me filtered water. The resultsth:

1) I will stop chewing my skin off.
2) I will resume my jubilant, joyful, jocular disthposithion. (Ma and Pops just sthoughth I was homesick for Astheville. Apparently thyroidalsth conditionsth lead to skin chewing AND depression.)
3) I won't have crysthals in my urine. Oscarths told me I didn't want those. Apparently that could lead to .....well, nevermind thatsh, I don't have any reproductive parts. Besides the volv. I think my medsth will cure that, too.