Well, folkshs. In addition to having the world'sth largest underbite and fighting hard for the position of world'sth ugliest dog, momsth and popsth spend $462 to discover that I have thyroidsths issue and put me on 5 different pills. They also have to serve me filtered water. The resultsth:
1) I will stop chewing my skin off.
2) I will resume my jubilant, joyful, jocular disthposithion. (Ma and Pops just sthoughth I was homesick for Astheville. Apparently thyroidalsth conditionsth lead to skin chewing AND depression.)
3) I won't have crysthals in my urine. Oscarths told me I didn't want those. Apparently that could lead to .....well, nevermind thatsh, I don't have any reproductive parts. Besides the volv. I think my medsth will cure that, too.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
De Nalito
Hola amigos. My name es el Raton Beastito San Cristobal de la Cruz. Me cusin es de Nali-Tron de la Cruz. He es a bandito. He has no balue...but he echase de squirrels and he echase de cats. Es pathetico. He does enothing.
Is my dream to come to dis country and hopen a restaurant, but is bery difficult. But...is okey, I'm open a restaurant called Ristaurante del Raton. We especialize in aNalitos, asyouknow a Nalito is a tortilla especial named after my cusin Nali-Tron, who es a bandito, but I hope dat my cusin is lead to do good things because of the success of de Nalito. Is more to dis life dan echasing the cats and echasing the squirrels.
Is my dream to come to dis country and hopen a restaurant, but is bery difficult. But...is okey, I'm open a restaurant called Ristaurante del Raton. We especialize in aNalitos, asyouknow a Nalito is a tortilla especial named after my cusin Nali-Tron, who es a bandito, but I hope dat my cusin is lead to do good things because of the success of de Nalito. Is more to dis life dan echasing the cats and echasing the squirrels.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Plan B
I'm ready for my aerial assthsault!
Bewaresths sthsquirrelsths I will get you in your treesths!
Bewaresths sthsquirrelsths I will get you in your treesths!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sthso closthse!
When I take napsths I dream about chasthsing Osthscarsths the cat, dem sthsquirrelsths dat run all over da housthse, and dat mailman dat comesths every day and tauntsths me from the other sthside of the door.
Oohhh, if only I could get through dat door thosthse sthsquirrelsths would be histhstory and dat mailman would find himsthself a different route. I tell you what.
Today I had my chansthse. Dat Kate who alwaysths sthsits around the table and makesths sthsure I don't sthsit on dat couch took me and Tahoesths outsthside to git some Vitamin D (which I need fo' sho on my itchy sthskin) and lo and behold who come walkin' up the sthtreet but dat mailman.
I wasths all ready to rip through my leashths and run after dat man and eat hisths mail and hisths blue hat but before I could even open my crooked teeth dat girl clamped her hand over my nose and made me not breathe no more. Den, he didn't even come to our housthse. Kate sthsaid no mail today but I don't believe it. I knowsths. I knowsths the truth.
Dat mailman, he'sths afraid of the Nalitron. He knowsths I'm toughersths den him and dat I got all the movesths to prove it.
Justhst you wait....
Oohhh, if only I could get through dat door thosthse sthsquirrelsths would be histhstory and dat mailman would find himsthself a different route. I tell you what.
Today I had my chansthse. Dat Kate who alwaysths sthsits around the table and makesths sthsure I don't sthsit on dat couch took me and Tahoesths outsthside to git some Vitamin D (which I need fo' sho on my itchy sthskin) and lo and behold who come walkin' up the sthtreet but dat mailman.
I wasths all ready to rip through my leashths and run after dat man and eat hisths mail and hisths blue hat but before I could even open my crooked teeth dat girl clamped her hand over my nose and made me not breathe no more. Den, he didn't even come to our housthse. Kate sthsaid no mail today but I don't believe it. I knowsths. I knowsths the truth.
Dat mailman, he'sths afraid of the Nalitron. He knowsths I'm toughersths den him and dat I got all the movesths to prove it.
Justhst you wait....
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
OSCARSTHS!
He isths back! My long farewellsths friend. He wasths with Kate out in dat long, long westhsts, but oh dearsths! Oh dearsths heavenly father above! My friend. My long losthsts friend, the cat, the feline, Oscarsths! is now back and how I love to chase dat cat all over dis damn house.
It'sths gloriousths! Absthsolutely gloriousths!
Get out from under dat couch Osthscar! I will desthstroy you like dem sthsquirrelsths!
-Nallersths
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Oh dearsths
I tell you wat!
Disths weathersths is crazy! Abosthsolutely crazy. Itsths warm and den itsths cold. Who dah hell knowsths what isths going to happen.
Popsths brushed my teefersths dah other day. Dat wasths damn annoying. But at dah sthsame time he cleaned my earsths which felt reeeeeeeal, reeeeeeeeal good. Sthso I can't complain too much.
Well here comesths Tahoe. It musthts be time for bed.
-Nallersths
Disths weathersths is crazy! Abosthsolutely crazy. Itsths warm and den itsths cold. Who dah hell knowsths what isths going to happen.
Popsths brushed my teefersths dah other day. Dat wasths damn annoying. But at dah sthsame time he cleaned my earsths which felt reeeeeeeal, reeeeeeeeal good. Sthso I can't complain too much.
Well here comesths Tahoe. It musthts be time for bed.
-Nallersths
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